The Terpsichorean Monitor, WILLIAM E. GREEN Providence Rhode Island 1889 THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS RARE BOOK COLLECTION THE Terpsichorean Monitor, BY WILLIAM E. GREENE, Providence, Rhode Island. 1889 E.A. JOHNSON & CO., PRINTERS, 57 WEYBOSSET STREET. PREFACE. The object of this brief manual is to expedite the progress of pupils and facilitate the duties of teachers. By its study, pupils not only learn theoretically that which will be taught practically, but save much valuable time, usually consumed by the teacher in imparting the information orally. The time thus gained may be more profitably devoted to practice, which is so essential to the acquirement of the Terpsichorean Art. The Author Copyrighted , 1889, by Wm. E. GREENE . Dancing and Deportment. Attitude . The following attitude should be maintained at all times. The Upper part of the body slightly inclined forward, hips backward, head erect, legs straight, arms hanging by the sides, elbows very slightly turned forward, thumbs opposite second fingers will all the fingers closed and slightly curved. It is sometimes becoming for young misses to very slightly bend their elbows, turning them outward from the body, curve the wrists and fingers-the fingers very slightly-and hold their dresses with the tips of the fore-fingers and thumbs. The Feet . In dancing or walking, the feet should be invariably kept at a right angle. When a dance requires the foot to be raised, the toe should be the last to leave the floor, the instep instantly curved and the toe pointed downward. When the foot is put down, the toe should be the first to touch the floor. In quadrilles, the toe, or forward part of the foot, should never be raised from the floor; or, in other words, the feet should be pushed about. Walking ordinarily, the heel should touch the floor barely au instant before the forward part of the foot. Salutations . The criteria of good breeding. The bow consists of a gentle and uninterrupted bending directly forward from the hips, and the immediate, non-spasmodic resumption of the erect position while standing with heels together. The arms should be allowed to hang in a natural position,' loosely, that they may swing slightly forward as the body is bent This bow should never be made with the feet apart. The courtesy is a combination of tile bow and bending of the knees while standing with one foot behind the other, the weight mostly upon the forward foot. When the bow and bending of the knees begin, the body sinks down and backward, transferring the weight to the backward foot. Upon rising, the front foot should be carried back to the one behind. The passing bow is an inclination of the body forward while walking, and is the same for both sexes. It is a proper salutation when passing each other, or on entering a parlor or private ballroom, or on recognition of a friend while crossing the room. Salutations in the street or public places may be more carelessly made than those given in the parlor or private ballroom. In all public places, except on the stage or platform, before an audience, a gentle inclination of the head forward is deemed quite sufficient for the bow. Lifting or touching the hat, or a gesture in saluting, should be done with the hand farthest from the person passing. An inclination of the head is often sufficient between gentlemen, or a gesture of the hand, or the mere touching of the hat; but in saluting a lady, the hat must be lifted. If smoking, the gentleman manages to withdraw his cigar before lifting his hat; or should he happen to have his hand in his pocket, he removes it. The best way, however, is not to be caught smoking. Gentlemen should not smoke on promenades much frequented, or when driving or walking with ladies. On all occasions a lady should bow first, for the reason that a gentleman is subject to mortification and chagrin by saluting a lady who passes him unnoticed, while no gentlemen can receive a bow from a lady under any circumstances without acknowledging it. Among intimate friends, of course, formality is thrown off to a certain extent. On meeting a friend in company with a lady, though a stranger, it is necessary to be very particular in giving the bow all its fulness and formality, that it may indicate respect for the lady, as well as intimacy with the gentleman. So too, when two male friends walking together meet the female acquaintance of one, it behooves both to raise their hats, and if the lady is accompanied by a gentleman, he must also lift his hat. A gentleman will always lift his hat when accosted by or addressing a lady, whether she is known to him or not. One salutation is all that civility requires when passing a person more than once on a public promenade or drive. In the performance of the salutations, it devolves on the pupil to rid his or her method of every mechanical tendency, to cause the movements to flow together, and to so modify the entire action as to prevent the detection of a studied form. Introductions . Do not presume that promiscuous introductions are agreeable. You should be sure that the parties to be introduced are at least willing to be made acquainted. Persons of inferior rank should be presented to those of higher rank; the younger to the elder and the gentleman to the lady in every case; that is, the name of the lady or person of highest consideration, should be first pronounced. Salutati ns always follow introductions. Shaking hands should be optional with the lady or superior. On a formal introduction merely for dancing, the salutations are sufficient. A gentleman does not shake hands with a lady not of his kindred, unless she offers to do so. Unmarried ladies do not give their hands in salute to any but gentlemen relations. The lady in any case gives the hand, the gentleman respectfully presses it without shaking. Should the hand be offered, however, by the gentlemen or inferior in ignorance of the rule or otherwise, it would be a piece of stupidly bad breeding on the part of the lady or superior, not to take it. Sometimes it becomes necessary to break the rules of politeness in order to be truly polite. When the hand is given in salute, it should be done with a full but gentle grasp. The listless offering of the hand, or the scornful touch of one or two fingers, are odious mockeries of civility. When there are a dozen or more waiting for an introduction to one individual, name the latter first and then in succession name the others, bowing as each name is called. Because of an introduction, neither party should presume that the acquaintance should be continued; that must depend on the encouragement in that direction which either party may be pleased to give. A lady to whom you have been introduced may, at her option, omit to recognize you afterwards; this is no discourtesy, it is her proper privilege. At a private party the host and hostess are sufficient guarantees for the respectibility of their guests. The mere fact of being assembled together under the roof of a mutual friend is in itself a kind of general introduction of the guests to each other. Escort Duty . On all occasions in conducting ladies, the gentleman should offer his right arm. By so doing the right hand of the lady is left free to hold her parasol, or if in the drawing-room or ball-room, to use her fan, attached to her chatelaine and to guard her train from being stepped upon. The lady, who is compelled to use her left hand to guide her train in walking through the suites of rooms or to hold her parasol if on the promenade, looks awkward and feels awkward, if she is not left handed, yet all this she must do if she takes a gentleman's left arm. While, if she takes his right arm, he is able to protect her from the jostling elbows of those who pass her and her right hand is left free to be used if necessary. Hence, both common sense and gallantry assign the lady's place where it is for her greatest convenience, on the right of the gentleman. Although it is not usual to take the arm in walking, unless married or engaged, yet it is sometimes necessary, as for example: when crossing the street or ascending or descending the steps of a public building. At night the gentleman's arm should always be tendered. In escorting ladies where there is not room to present the arm, the lady, as a general rule, should precede the gentleman. Also, on entering a room, the gentleman should hold the door open and allow the lady to pass in first. There are exceptions, however, to this as to all other general rules; for instance, when walking down the aisle of a theatre or concert room, the gentleman should precede the lady to find seats, or when on a crowded street, to clear the way. Avoid the "arm clutch," which has the appearance of a policeman forcing a disorderly person through the street. Engagements . In requesting a lady to dance stand at a proper distance, bend the body gracefully and respectfully say: "Will you do me honor to dance with me?" or "May I have pleasure of dancing with you?" or "Will you be pleased?" or "Will you favor me with your hand for this or the next dance?" as the case may be. Where there is great intimacy the simple Words "Will you dance?" or "Will you assist me?" are quite sufficient. The gentleman should remain in the position assumed until the lady signifies her intention by saying, "Thank you," or "With pleasure, sir," or "Thank you, I engaged," or "I regret I am engaged, sir.' Should the lady not wish to dance with the person addressing her, she should, as delicately as possible, beg to be excused, and it being ungentlemanly to press a lady to dance, the slightest excuse should suffice. If she assents the gentleman may then request to see her card, or to name the dance for which she is not engaged, and after having made the necessary arrangements, he should politely bow and withdraw. Never forget an engagement-it is an offence that does not admit of an excuse except when a lady commits it and then the gentleman is bound to take her word without a murmur. A gentleman having engaged a lady to dance will first give her time to rise up, then offering her his right arm (bending the elbow and placing his hand gently upon his chest) will conduct her to a place in the set, being careful while walking to accommodate his steps to hers, while both should keep step with military precision. Avoid swinging the body to and fro. Formation of Quadrilles . Before beginning to dance it is necessary that the head of the room should be designated, as this determines the position of the Couples. The position of the music does not always signify the head of the room, as some may imagine. If the entrance is at one end, the opposite is usually adopted as the head. If at one side, either end may be chosen for that purpose. In private houses the end of the room towards the street, is usually taken. This being determined the first couple would face the opposite end, the second couple would face the first couple, the third couple would stand at the right of the first and the fourth would face the third. The first and second couples are called heads; third and fourth, sides. For Diagonal Movements . First direction, heads face to right, sides to left. Second direction, sides face to right, heads to left; thus forming two diagonal lines, all facing in the proper direction for the execution of all diagonal figures, which should always commence in the first direction, unless otherwise specified. Introductory Salutations . The lady always slides the right foot, courtesying with the left behind, and the gentleman the left, bowing with heels together. The slide to face partners, must be very short and towards the centre of the set. To face the corners, turn backs to partners; then slide outward for the salutations. To salute facing inward, join hands with partners and all slide to right. This last movement, of course, in regard to the gentlemen, is all exception to the general rule of always making the preliminary slide with the left foot. Motion of the Arms . As a general rule the arms should be raised from the shoulder, the entire arm raised in a curved line. Angularity should be avoided. Joining Hands . The lady will hold out her hand with the palm downward, the gentleman will take it by turning the palm of his upward, just allowing the fingers of the lady's hand to rest gently within his. To grasp the whole hand would be very impolite. A lady should never attempt to take a gentleman's hand, neither should a gentleman attempt to take a lady's hand until it has been presented to him for that purpose. He may hold out his hand, however, ready to take hers when it is presented, but should never allow himself to fumble around in search of her hand. While dancing, the lady should be very particular to extend her hand to the gentleman whenever it is necessary and the gentleman should be prompt in taking it. The hands when joined should be held in an easy position suited to both parties. Never join hands with a person while the salutations are being given. Bow first, then join hands. When the hand is given the face should always be turned in the same direction. In turning partners, both hands should be joined, held downward and apart, turning once round only. To pass the arm round a lady's waist and swing her violently several times round in the same place, as is frequently the case in public dances, is considered vulgar in the extreme. While dancing, it should be borne in mind that it is the gentleman's part to lead, and the lady's to follow his direction. At the end of the dance the gentleman will present his right arm to the lady and lead her to a seat, and as she takes her seat, bow and thank her for the honor conferred by merely saying, "thank you." The lady responds by a gentle inclination of the head forward. Words on her part would be superfluous. Round Dances . In taking position the gentleman approaches the lady offering her his left hand at the same time making a slight inclination or half bow. The gentleman then extends his right arm in a direct line to the side, the fore-arm bent so as to form an acute angle. In this angle the lady will place herself, with the centre of the person opposite the line of the gentleman's right since, both persons on parallel lines, not forming an angle. In tins position each will be looking over the other's right shoulder, and by the lady turning her head slightly to the left, the effect of the group will be greatly enhanced and prevent all possibility of taking each others' breath. The lady's left hand should rest upon the gentleman's right arm or shoulder about the height of her chin. The right hand of the gentleman should rest gently upon the lady's back, as near the waist as possible, so as not to remove the upward pressure of the elbow directly under the lady's arm as this is the lady's support and must be held with sure but gentle firmness. Both persons should be slightly poised forward, the shoulders three or four inches apart, the distance increasing downward. The gentleman's left hand, holding the lady's right, should be extended downward in line With the body, the hands three or four inches distant from the person, the arms forming a gentle curve from the shoulder downward. No weight is to be placed upon this arm, all the guiding and changes must be governed by the elbow under the lady's arm. When dancing throw sufficient energy into your movements to show that you are interested, but do not allow the excitement to lead you beyond the bounds of propriety. The lady should allow herself to be guided entirely by the gentleman, who alone will impart to her the direction of the dance. A lady is reputed all the more proficient as she obeys with confidence and freedom the movements directed by the gentleman. The lady should not stop suddenly in the dance, but should previously intimate her intention to the gentleman. Nor should the gentleman suddently disengage himself from his partner at the exact moment they cease dancing, before the rotatory impulse shall have lost its effect It is in bad taste to remain in position waiting for the commencement of a strain of music and much worse to let it go by and still stand in position waiting for another strain. The position should be taken and the dance begun at the same moment. In the pursuit, a gentleman should never force a lady backward. It is not only a mark of very bad taste, but, in case the lady should be en traine , it would be dangerous. The lady, however, should familiarize herself with the backward motions, in order to be prepared in case of an emergency. Never field a lady's hand behind you, or on your hip, or high in the air moving her arm as if it were a pump handle. Neither should a lady grasp the gentleman's right arm, or bear down upon it unnecessarily. Do not bend your head down and whisper to your partner, thus making yourself and your partner subjects for unkind criticism, possibly for ridicule. At the same time by your inattention your run the risk of coming in violent collision with other couples. A lady should never allow her head to rest upon or against the gentleman's shoulder. Never try to make yourself the central ornament of a ball-room by waltzing very slowly or "pivoting" in the middle of the floor. It is surprising how conceited some people are in their manner of dancing-how persistently they will cling to some element of bad taste, notwithstanding all that may be said to them, by their teacher, to the contrary, and people too, who are perfectly modest in everything else. It should be remembered that morality, refinement and modesty, are just as essential in dancing as in any other situation of life. When participating in any of the round dances never protract exertion beyond your strength. The moment you feel in the least weary cease dancing and promenade until the weariness has passed off and then begin again. In this way, if you desire, you may be able to occupy the floor as long as the music plays without fatigue, making the exercise beneficial instead of detrimental. Cotillion or German . In this dance all should be upon terms of familiarity. No refusals are allowable in the selection or chance reception of partners. Any of the round dances are available. As in the case of Quadrilles, to take places, one strain of music is usually played as a signal to take seats. Previous to this all are supposed to have secured partners; if any should remain unpaired the lady of the house will either remedy the difficulty herself or delegate that duty to the conductor. The conductor and his partner taking seats, all the others arrange themselves to their left-ladies invariably seated upon the right of their partners. Each participant should at all times be awake to the duties required, prompt in taking places for the execution of a figure, silent and attentive during the explanation of any novelty; obedient to the conductor during the management of the dance and willing to sacrifice momentary personal pleasure for the good of the whole. The selection of the figures is entirely at the discrimination of the leader. Many of them may be combined or varied to suit his pleasure, or he may introduce figures of his own invention. It often occurs that a lady or gentleman unable to obtain a partner must remain outside the circle. In the selection of partners when forming for figures it is allowable and advisable, as it evinces a kind disposition, to extend the enjoyment to all present, to choose from among, those outside the circle. They must, however, on the conclusion of a figure retire again to the outside. When selecting partners the lady should present the left hand, the gentleman the right, except, of course, in cases where two ladies are required. When new partners are obtained places must be immediately taken for the figure to be executed. After the completion of the figure a general waltz takes place in which any of those not engaged in the figure may join. The same at every repetition of a figure. At this point there will necessarily be a number of ladies and gentleman seated alone, any one of these gentlemen may with propriety offer himself as a partner to a lady thus circumstanced, but never to a lady seated with her part let unless in the regular selection of partners for figures. When the signal is giving to cease dancing,it is not expected that a couple should immediately stop, perhaps on the opposite side of the room, and walk back to their seats but they may continue to dance until the lady's seat is reached, when after seeing the lady safely seated, the gentleman returns to his own place. The conductor always allows sufficient time for this before calling the next party. The party called up must invariably select new partners from those seated. Mutual agreements to call each other should never be made; it evinces a spirit of selfishness and want of consideration for others. The character of the figures should be suitable to the time and those forming the Cotillion. Many are of so merry a nature that they cannot be introduced except among intimates who will make allowances for an occasional slight exaggeration of conduct; but such figures are dangerous if there should be those present who cannot be merry without rudeness. To clap hands once should be the signal for all to cease dancing; twice for the commencement of simultaneous movements; three times to stop the music and this is the last resort when the conductor has to deal with inconsiderate or obstinate couples who persistently occupy the floor after the signal to cease is given, or at a time not permissible by the regulations of the dance. Master of Ceremonies . This gentleman is the arbiter elegantiarium of the ball room, and it is his duty to direct and superintend the arrangements for the time being, to whom all appeals must be made, and whose authority is unquestionable and decisions final. With such powers as these it is scarcely necessary to add that he should unite the knowledge of the proficient with the manners of the gentleman, and while his dictum is without appeal, it should never seem peremptory. It is apparent that the office is a delicate one, and as the appointment is most flattering to the individual, the responsibility is great and not lightly to be encountered. Rules Governing Balls and Dancing Parties . On entering the reception-room, after leaving the dressing-room where toilettes should be adjusted-gloves drawn on, etc.-the usual respects to the entertainers should not be forgotten. If you come rather late, and they happen to be mingling with their guests, you seek the first opportunity to make your obeisance to them. For the early part of the evening, the receivers usually take their places near the door of the reception-room, in order to welcome their friends. At a private party, ladies are privileged to make their own engagements, but a gentleman should not presume to invite an entire stranger to dance without an introduction. One presentation is sufficient. The necessary introductions are obtained through the entertainers. Gentlemen should dance the first set with the ladies under their escort. During the dance all should be exclusively devoted to their partners, and never allow themselves to keep up by conversation of the telegraph of the eye and face a communication with others. Even those persons who are familiar with all the formalities of fashionable society are often the worst offenders against the common decencies of life. It may be as well to remind such that it is by no means decorous to pass most of the night in the dressing-room smoking cigars, and so infecting their persons with the disagreeable odor that they become an insufferable nuisance to all around. It should also be borne in mind that decorum in the use of wine is not to be measured by the generosity of the host in supplying it. Engaged persons should not dance together too frequently; it is a mark of bad taste. Married couples should not dance with each other except the first set, or when everybody else in the quadrille does the same. There is, perhaps, no positive impropriety in it, and deviations from the rule may sometimes be expedient or unavoidable; but it is more generous and therefore more polite for spouses to distribute their favors among the rest of the company. At a grand ball, among persons not previously acquainted, the acquaintance ends with the dance, and if the gentleman desires to dance a second time with the same lady, he must be presented again; in short, his acquaintance ends with every dance. A gentleman meeting a lady friend at a grand ball, and wishing to dance with her, should be presented by her escort before taking upon himself the privilege of dancing with her; nor should he engage himself with the same lady friend for any subsequent dance without the approval of the lady's escort. All introductions to a lady at a grand ball must be made exclusively by her escort, unless the escort delegates, with the lady's consent; that privilege to the master of ceremonies, or to some other person. A gentleman will not take the liberty, nor be guilty of the impropriety of introducing, another gentleman to a lady whose temporary acquaintance with himself may have been formed in the ballroom. It is a breach of etiquette to leave one set to join another, without an apology, except by request of the master of ceremonies, or when the change is occasioned by mistake as to, the pre-occupancy of place. Rather than dispute as to the pre-occupancy of the place, it is better to quietly withdraw from the set. Let your figures conform to the custom of those With whom you may be dancing. Do not attract the attention of others, nor disconcert them by correcting their mistakes. At the conclusion of the dance a short promenade should be made, or if desired, a visit to the refreshment room may be made, before conducting partners to their seats, or consigning them to their chaperones . This course is appropriate and commendable, as it evinces a desire on the part of the gentleman not to relinquish his fair partner too hastily. This does not, however, apply to entire strangers. Ladies should not accept refreshments from gentlemen merely upon the acquaintance of a ball room introduction. On no account should a lady parade a ball room alone, nor should she enter it unaccompanied. Gentlemen should not congregate around the dressing room or entrance doors, as this prevents ease of ingress and egress. For balls the hours are not limited, and an invited person may enter with propriety at any time during the night. For parties or "at homes," the hours are usually specified and all other requisite information mentioned in the invitation, and guests should govern themselves accordingly. The grand march at the opening of parties and balls should be as simple as possible. No intricate movements should be attempted. The less marching and parading and the more dancing, the more enjoyable the ball or party will be. Always salute the director of ceremonies with becoming politeness; a bow is sufficient. Invitations for every dance ought not to be accepted by young ladies when at a party or ball, as the exertion is too wearying, but they should be careful how they refuse to dance, for unless a good reason is given, a gentleman is apt to take it as an evidence of personal dislike. After refusing, the gentleman should not urge her to dance, nor should the lady accept another invitation for the same dance. If the lady should, however, so far forget herself as to accept another invitation for the same dance, the gentleman ought not to compromise his dignity to be even slightly offended; but he would certainly be justified in not again soliciting her as his partner during the evening. Should it be necessary, while the sets are being formed, for a couple to vacate a position temporarily, a handkerchief or other small article may be left in the place to snow that the position is taken, in much the same way as a traveling bag, bundle or over-garment left in a railroad car seat secures it when vacated for a short time. In a cotillion the vacant chairs may be tied together with a handkerchief for the same purpose. Such tokens should always be respected. It is very impolite and insulting, while dancing in a quadrille to mar the pleasure of others by galloping around the inside of the next set; as a general rule never dance beyond the limits of your own set. In joining a contra dance never try to push in at the middle or head, but take your place below the last couple who are standing up. There is sometimes exhibited a laudable desire on the part of the gentleman to render himself agreeable by procuring a seat for his lady, in the interim of repose. Should all the cavaliers be equally desirous of administering to the comforts of their fair partners during a momentary respite, what a ludicrous scene it would present. If the lady feels too fatigued to keep her place, the better way would be to excuse yourself and lead her to a seat, and then notify the master of ceremonies in case you could not procure another couple to take your place. Such persons as may dislike any dance that is called, instead of interrupting its performance or endeavoring to have it altered, should retire to their seats. Be not inclined to quarrel in a ball-room. Recollect that many little deviations from strict propriety may occur through thoughtlessness and not from any intention to annoy. Remember, also, that well-bred women will not thank you for making them conspicuous by officiousness in their defence, unless there be a serious violation of decorum. In small matters, ladies are able to take care of themselves, and would prefer humbling the offender in their own way. If, however, the honor of a woman be questioned, you should defend her. It is not permitted to assail the character of a lady, even if she merit censure. Never cross the room while others are dancing. Go round, keeping close to the wall. A gentleman will never scat himself beside a strange lady. At a public ball go and remain during the evening with your own party. Do not form an engagement during a dance or while the lady is engaged with another. Where there are no programmes engagements should not be made until the dance is announced. It is improper for gentlemen to dance together when ladies are present. Nothing is more indicative of a selfish vulgarity than the habit of beating time with the feet or clapping the hands in a ball room. Whatever preference may be felt, none should be shown in an assembly which ought to resemble a large family where universal urbanity and cheerfulness prevail. Perfect politeness conceals preferences and makes itself generally agreeable. Favoritism is suitable only for private life. Lovers are apt to forget this in the ball room and make themselves disagreeable, and sometimes particularly offensive by their devotion to one another. The ball room is not the proper place for making love, but for general and agreeable association. Ladies especially ought to remember this, as no lady, however beautiful, accomplished, dignified or opulent, can afford to lose the good opinion of the society in which she moves. Moreover, beauty without deed manners speedily creates feelings very different from those of love. Always conform your conduct as near as possible to the company with whom you are associated. If you should be thrown among people who are unaccustomed to refined society, it is better to humor them than to set yourself up then and there for a model of politeness. Entertainments . Balls, soirees, evening parties, "at homes," receptions, "kettledrums," or whatever else they may be called, are more or less governed by fashion and her administrators. The hired master of ceremonies, the upholsterer, the florist, the pastry-cook and confectioner, are in fact the dispensers of modern hospitality. The Host and Hostess . The polite hostess takes care to mark her conduct for the night by a total abnegation of self. Her toilette is carefully subdued, so that it may not surpass the average splendor, and her triumphs are sought in the brilliancy of the occasion, and not in the eclat of her own personality. She is constantly seeking opportunities of display for her guests, that they may shine in the brightest and most favorable light, while she is obscuring herself. She is pre-eminently the entertainer, and seeks her own enjoyment in that of others. She especially takes care to treat all her guests with a zealous and equal courtesy. She recognizes no distinction of rank, birth or wealth, and acknowledges no precedence beyond what society usually exacts. She waives for the occasion all favoritism, and rather neglects a friend than fails to show respect to a stranger. In these days she has but little to do with the more material part of the entertainment. The arrangement of this mainly devolves upon the florist, the conductor of music, the restaurateur, and the hired master of ceremonies, but she carefully sees to the fulfillment by each of his special vocation: At supper, of which she is the last to partake, she watches closely the conduct of the servants, and is quietly but constantly urging them to their duty. The host has subordinately the same office to perform and bearing to maintain as the hostess, but, while she is more exclusively occupied with the gentlemen, he is particularly devoted to the ladies. The Guest . The acceptable guest makes it a point of duty to answer all invitations immediately on reception; to send a regret, even if at the last moment, when prevented from going; to never be guilty of the rudeness of sending an acceptance with no intention of going; to send a reason for regretting when not able to accept, also to arrive as soon after the hour named as convenient, when it is mentioned in the invitation, and to do all that is possible to enhance the enjoyment of the party. " Wall-Flowers ." These are ladies who serve as the drapery to the walls of the ball room, in consequence of, either refusing all invitations to dance, or, unfortunately, have never learned the art. Sometimes it is negligence on the part of gentlemen for want of gallantry. Ball Suppers . Gentlemen should conduct to the supper room their last partners, unless they have prior engagements or are requested by the host to do otherwise. In the latter case, they should provide their partners with substitutes, at the same time making handsome apologies. No gentleman should go into the supper room alone, unless he has seen every lady enter before him. When ladies are left unattended, gentlemen, although strangers, are at liberty to offer their set. vices in waiting upon them. As a general thing, no one sits down to ball suppers, or if seats are arranged by the wall for the ladies the gentlemen stand, Should there be a "sit down" affair, however, the gentleman will seat his lady on his left, as it is more convenient to serve in that direction-drawing out her chair for her and slightly bowing as she takes her seat. The inconvenient practice of wearing gloves at a repast is not recognized by an intelligent refinement. Whenever there is a servant to help you, never help yourself; but it is the duty of the gentleman to see that his partner is properly served. As soon as helped, begin to eat. To wait for others is not only old-fashioned but ill-bred. Always remember that a wine glass is to be held by the stem, and a cup by the handle; and that the plate must not be tilted on any occasion. To drink a whole glassful at once, or drain a glass to the last drop,is inexpressibly vulgar. The habit of wiping the lips before drinking should be cultivated, to prevent soiling the glass or cup. Taking wine with people is now wholly out of fashion. Toasts have met with the same fate. Anything like greediness or indecision are ill-bred. The choicest pieces are ignored; and you must not take up one piece and lay it down in favor of another, or hesitate whether you will partake of the dish at all. It is gauche in the extreme not to know one's own mind about trifles. There is one good rule, however, which if followed, will make you all acceptable guest everywhere: Be not obtrusive, do everything smoothly and quietly, talk in a low tone of voice, handle your knife and fork and plate without clatter, feed yourselves with a fork or spoon, never a knife, cut everything with a fork that can be cut without a knife, and eat without any audible gulping, or smacking of the lips. When you have done with your knife and fork, lay them in your plate, side by side, handles to the right. Crossing them is emblematic of an old religious formula. Whenever there is any doubt as to the best way to do a thing, it is wise to follow that which is the most rational and that will almost invariably be found to be the proper etiquette. Every gentleman, after attending to the wants of his partner. should not forget to return with her to the drawing-room or ball room. Beware of Late Hours . The length to which the ordinary dancing party or ball is sometimes prolonged is a serious evil. In our working community there are but few who if they dance all night can sleep all day, for most of the gay cavaliers of the evening are the busy drudges of the morning. Our youthful damsels, it is true, can, if their excited nerves will let them, sleep away as many of the twenty-four hours as they please, but their partners cannot, for they are wanted for the most part at the shop and counting house. The mere loss of sleep, the recuperative influence of which is so necessary, must be a serious damage to the health of the young gallants who strive to comply with the requirements both of fashion and business. We would advise our friends and especially our pupils to be always among the earliest to leave a fashionable party. There is, moreover, no rule of politeness which exacts a very prolonged stay. French Leave . This means to go quietly out without disturbing anyone, and without saluting even the lady of the house unless you can do so without attracting attention. This is the best and most proper way, if you wish to withdraw before the breaking up of a large evening party or ball. The contrary course would interrupt the rest of the company and call for otherwise unnecessary explanations and ceremony. If you are an intimate friend of the family, perhaps it would be more proper to seek out the host and hostess in a private manner and return them your acknowledgment for the enjoyment you have received, and regret that you must leave so soon. It would be hard upon the lady of the house if every one leaving a large ball thought it necessary to wish her good-night. In leaving a small dance, however, a parting bow is civil. The host and hostess, near the close of a small party, are usually to be found near the door of the parlor, and guests take leave of them with a bow and compliment for a pleasant evening, then pass to the dressing rooms after wraps, and vanish without further ceremony. In very:small circles a bow should be given to each person about one, and leave taken of any special friend whose conversation has been particularly pleasant. Calls in person or by card are due to a hostess, whether the invitations were accepted or not, within a week after a party or ball. The person who enters the room is the one to salute the company, and when retiring, to make his adieus to which the rest respond. On leaving a room where there is company, retire, on reaching the doorway, backward, and with a bow. Attending Balls With Ladies . As on most occasions a carriage is necessary, it is important that this should be first considered. The seat of honor in a carriage is on the right hand facing the horses which is the seat of the hostess, who is never expected to give it up. A gentleman ought always to give this seat to a lady, and sit along side, if invited, but if not, he must face the lady. In alighting from a carriage, the gentleman must be the first to leave, even if the lady is passed in doing so. If there is a servant with the carriage he can hold the door open, but the gentleman must assist the lady in getting out. If a lady has to leave a carriage before a gentleman he must first get out and then help her, and when she wishes to return he must repeat the exercise. In calling, for the lady you have invited, be punctual. On arriving at your place of destination, conduct your lady to the ladies' dressing room, there leaving her while you go to the gentlemen's apartment to adjust your toilet. The lady in the meantime, after arranging her dress, retires to the ladies sitting room or awaits your arrival at the door of the dressing-room, according as the apartments may be arranged. The ladies' dressing-room is a sacred precinct into which no gentleman should ever presume to look; to enter it would be an outrage not to be overlooked or forgiven. If it be a public ball, present your right arm to the lady, or if you have two ladies under your escort, present your arm to the elder, allowing the ladies to walk together on one side, anti not one lady on each arm-as is frequently the case-and with them enter the room unobtrusively, conducting them to convenient seats. If a private party, your hostess will or should be near the door to receive you, to whom you should make your first bow before noticing anyone else. Your next duty is to procure a programme for your partner, and introduce your friends, who place their names on her card for the dances engaged. Sets should be formed with as little confusion as possible. No position should be taken until the signal to do so be given. In taking your position in a set, be sure to secure a vis-a-vis , as you will by that means avoid being left alone, or under the necessity of moving to another set. Immediate attention should be paid to any request made by the master of ceremonies. When dancing, pay particular attention to the figures, as your carelessness may cause embarrassment to others. When dancing with a lady to whom you are a stranger, be cautious in your conversation not to attempt too much without at the same time being anti- social; trifling incidents will occur during the dance which will afford a sufficient pretext for an agreeable remark. At the conclusion of the dance give your partner that attention which will be most likely to anticipate her wants; she may require her shawl, fan, or refreshments; these you may suggest without being improperly assiduous. Should the lady desire to leave before the ball is ended, you ought to apprise those to whom you or your lady are engaged of your intentions to leave, and beg to be excused. You will then order a carriage and see her safely home. Miscellaneous Information . The question is frequently asked. What constitutes the difference between an evening party and a ball? At an evening party there may be dancing or there may not be. At a ball there must be dancing. Except at family gatherings, more than three in one family ought never to accept an invitation. An invited person should never take an uninvited friend to a ball or party without first asking permission of the entertainer. As he is not likely to be refused, he must hold himself responsible for the character and conduct of his companion, who previous to and after the ball or party should send a card. Whoever is admitted to a company of ladies and gentlemen is supposed to be for the time being, at least, on an equality with all present, and should be treated with equal respect. The members of an invited family should never be seen conversing with each other at a party. All altercations, loud talking, and noisy laughter, are doubly ill mannered in a ball room. A lady is not expected to rise from her chair when saluted by a gentleman or by any of her own sex, unless the latter be a person very much her superior in age. A gentleman on an introduction, if seated, should immediately rise. Unmarried ladies do not ask gentlemen to call, but the gentlemen ask their permission for the favor, or wait to be invited by their parents. A gentleman in ascending or descending a staircase with a lady, should go at her side, if there be room; if not, precede her in going up and follow her in coming down. It is not polite for g lady to speak too quick or too loud; and when seated, she ought neither too cross her legs nor take a vulgar attitude. She should occupy her chair entirely, and appear neither too restless nor yet too immovable. Lounging on sofas or easy chairs, tipping back your chair on two legs, throwing one leg over the other, or sitting in any unnatural position-these habits are always considered indecorous, and in the presence of ladies are deemed extremely vulgar. Never correct any inaccuracies of speech in others. It is very impolite. Never seem to understand indelicate expressions, much less use them. In speaking of the male sex, always say "gentleman," never " gent." In speaking of anyone, pronounce the full name; not "Mr. and Mrs. A." or "Miss B." To notice any deformity in others, is not only very uncharitable, but ill-bred. Pulling out your watch in company, unasked or without excusing yourself, is a mark of ill-breeding. Never center a private apartment Without first knocking or giving some kind signal. Never refuse an apology when tendered in sincerity, nor fail to offer one when due from you. Never go before persons superior in age or social position, or who may be entitled to precede you in any respect, when leaving or entering a room with them. It is very impolite to pass friends, or acquaintances, in the street or anywhere else, without speaking or saluting them. When stopping to converse with a friend in the street, step to oneside of the path, that you may not discommode others who may be passing. The rule, "always pass to the right," should be observed in walking as well as in driving. When meeting a lady with whom you would like to converse, you should not stop her, but turn and accompany her in the direction she may be going; not forgetting, when taking your leave, to lift your hat. A lady cannot take the arms of two gentlemen, nor should two ladies take each one arm of one gentleman, "sandwiching" him, as it were. The ladies should walk together on the right of the gentleman. A lady should request a gentleman not to keep his hat off while standing in the street, or at her carriage, to talk with her. No good reason, however, can be given why a gentleman, after having properly saluted a lady, should be expected to stand in the street, or at a carriage bareheaded, exposing himself, perhaps, to a severe cold. Avoid fumbling with any part of the person or thing appertaining to it; gapping with a noise, or without concealing the mouth; carrying your hands in your pockets, When they should be hanging naturally by your sides; touching persons with familiarity when conversing with them, staring or pointing at any one; tossing articles instead of handing them politely. Never pass in front of anyone, or between two persons who may be conversing, unless there is no other way, and not even then without excusing yourself; do not cross a room in an anxious manner, merely to receive a bow. If you are desirous of being noticed by anyone in particular, put yourself in their way as if by accident. Never whisper to a person in company, nor conceal your mouth when speaking. It is extremely vulgar and offensive. There is nothing more annoying to other people who may be present than the noise which a person will sometimes make by snapping a toothpick, jingling a watch-chain, creaking a chair, opening and shutting a pencil or knife, tapping the boot with a cane, or making any kind of a noise or movement which irresistibly and disagreeably attracts the general attention. It is well when these ugly tricks do not take the most offensive form, but occasionally we find persons, otherwise incapable of ill-breeding who will pick their noses, clean their nails, and scratch their heads before all kinds of company, and remain perfect!y unconscious, from the insensibility of habit, of their offensive acts. The mouth may offend by its inarticulate as well as articulate utterances. All unnecessary noises with this and its fellow organ, the tongue, are fatal to decorum of manners. Humming, whistling, hawking, spitting and sucking of the teeth are so disgusting that the mere mention of them seems almost an offence. No one can expect to be a proper associate for refined people, if they allow themselves to become slaves to such ungainly practices. Good manners and the avoidance of all bad habits are imperative in order to ensure caste among the well-bred. Quadrille . The figures comprising this dance, should be committed to memory, and danced without the aid of a prompter. The original quadrille contains, probably, nearly all the movements used in figure dancing: and hence, the basis of all subsequent compositions of the kind. A thorough knowledge, therefore, of this dance, enables a pupil to more readily comprehend all other combinations-quadrilles or contra dances. The original quadrille is composed of five numbers or figures. The first is danced twice, the others four times each. Originally, by heads and sides; now, diagonally, in first and second directions. In the following abbreviations are given each figure once through, to be repeated as above explained. The numeral figures following the abbreviations, represent the number of bars of music required for the preceding movements. No. I. Introductory salutations. 8. Right and left, 8; balance, 8; ladies chain, 8; balance, 8. No. II. Wait, 8. Forward and back, cross over, 8; for. ward by partners and back, cross back to places, 8; balance, 8. No. III. Wait, 8. Right hand across, left back and forth circle, 8; balance, half promenade, 8; ladies forward and back, gentlemen same, 8; all forward and back, half right and left to places, 8. No. IV. Wait, 8. Forward and back, head ladies cross over to side gentlemen, 8; six, forward and back, all the ladies cross over to the opposite gentlemen, 8; six, forward anti back, all forward to centre and form circle, 8; four hands half round, half right and lett to places, 8. No. V. Wait, 8. Ladies chain, 8; forward and back, cross over, 8; forward by partners and back, cross hack to places, 8; all promenade, arm in arm, 8. Finish. All forward by partners and salute corners, back to places and salute partners, 8. Waltz Quadrille . Diagonal formation. First four numbers each twice. The fifth or last number, four times. Ordinary quadrille music for the quadrille movements, waltz music for the waltz movements. No. I. Introductory salutations, waltz music, 16. Right and left, 8; balance, 8; ladies chain, 8; all waltz 16. No. II. Wait, 16. Forward and back, cross over, 8; forward by partners and back, cross back to places, 8; all waltz, 16. No. III. Wait, 16. Right hand across, left back and form circle, 8; balance and lead to places, 8; all waltz, 16. No. IV. Wait, 16. All forward and back, gentlemen cross over and turn the ladies on the right, 8; ladies chain, 8; all forward and back, turn partners to places, 8; all waltz, 16. No. V. All join right hands with partners, chord. Grand right and left half round, turn and reverse to places, 16. All forward towards centre and back, forward again, salute facing inward and step back to places, 8; all balance at corners, gentlemen turn corner ladies, leading them to their own partners' places, 8; all waltz with new partners, 16. The fourth repetition will bring all to original places. Coda. Gentlemen lead ladies to centre, all facing partners with salutations. It is not in good taste to reverse the waltz, when dancing in a quadrille. The circle being so small. and the distance from one point to another around the outside of the circle, is so much farther than it is between the same points across the inside, it occasions, when turning from the outside, a greater impetus-sometimes swinging the lady nearly off of her feet-in order to keep on in the direction required. The above waltz quadrille may be changed to a polka, yorke, schottisch, or any other round dance quadrille, by simply substituting the proper music in the place of the waltz. Saratoga Lancers . Each number four times. No. I. Introductory salutations, 8. All forward and back, turn the opposite, 8; cross over, heads passing between sides, cross back, sides passing between heads, 8; all balance at corners and turn, 8. No. II. Wait, 8. All forward towards centre and back, ladies in front facing partners with salutations, 8;. all chasse to right and left and turn partners to places, 8; all promenade, arm in arm, 8; second and fourth times, gentlemen in front. Basket Figure , No. II. Wait, 8. All forward towards centre and back, forward again and leave the ladies in centre, who join hands in a circle, 8; gentlemen join hands and circle round the outside, form basket, 8; all round holding hands, 8; second and fourth times, gentlemen in centre. No. III. Wait, 8. All forward towards centre and back, forward again with salutations facing inward, step back to places, 8; four ladies chain, 8; second and fourth times, four gentlemen chain, crossing left hands and turning the ladies with right. No. IV. This number is usually omitted. Wait, 8. Heads lead to right and salute, 4; change the side ladies and salute, 4; return places and salute, 4; right and left, 8. No. V. All join right hands with partners, chord. Grand right and left half round, turn and reverse to places, 16. First couple face outward, sides fall in, 8; all chasse to left and right and repeat, 8; all march, 8; all forward and back, turn partners to places, 8. Finish with grand right and left.